Empathic Confrontation: Advanced Strategies for
Navigating Narcissism and Other Challenging Modes in Treatment
Wendy Behary (Advanced Schema Therapist/Trainer)
Official Course Start Date:
Tuesday, March 28 (2023)
Exploring, identifying, and addressing the emotional narrative linked with early unmet needs are essential elements for formulating a robust conceptualization and effective implementation of treatment. This can be a triggering endeavour, especially when facing:
1. the self-righteous entitlement, neurotic victimization, approval-seeking, and bully/attack Overcompensating Modes of a covert or overt narcissistic client)
2. the rigidly disparaging or unyielding demands of Inner Critic Modes
3. the uncompromising (multiple) masks of Detached Protector Modes
4. the angry (several forms), help-rejecting, compliant-surrendering, enmeshed, hyper-autonomous, avoidant, dependent, perfectionistic… Modes
At the heart of schema therapy, we have an approach capable of weakening and evacuating Maladaptive Coping modes, confronting, modifying, and converting Inner Critic modes. Healthy Adult responses replace self-defeating ones as schemas heal and clients find their authentic voices. Reflection replaces reaction. Using highly effective strategies grounded in emotional engagement, schema therapists are poised to correct the biased emotional experiences typically linked with ruptured attachments and early embedded unrealistic demands, imprinted messages of inadequacy and unlovability, devalued and diminished self-identity, poor limit setting, hypervigilance, neglect, and abuse.
Empathic Confrontation, in its many elaborations, is one of the most powerful strategies for fortifying the therapy relationship and deconstructing the painful underlying emotional narrative; escorting the client on a journey of reimagined experiences that fulfill unmet emotional needs and rescript lifelong biased messages related to self, others, and the future.
Participants will learn how to:
A) Identify and conceptualize the evolution of challenging and uncompromising modes.
B) Cultivate a navigational treatment map.
C) Apply one of the many elaborations of Empathic Confrontation strategies to:
1. Fortify the therapy relationship
2. Confront, address, weaken, modify, and convert compensatory, detached, angry, and critical modes
3. Create customized dialogues that embolden trust, safety, leverage, and enhance opportunities to access client vulnerability and emotional resonance
D) Attend to the therapist’s own schemas and mode activation – how to sustain a sturdy, curious, and empathically attuned caregiver agency.
E) Integrate effective experiential strategies designed to meet the primary unmet needs, especially those related to toxic shame, mistrust, injustice, and unconditional love/acceptance.
CPD Hours: This course constitutes 18-hours of active professional development; attendees are provided with a certificate of completion.
Pricing: 16-Week (Standard; 289AUD) and 12 months (Extended; 325AUD). Access Options are available - (Some folks love more time with the materials). Scroll down for Pricing Options.
Scroll down for a sneak peek of the training curriculum with Wendy.
LCSW, Advanced Schema Therapist and Trainer
President International Society of Schema Therapy 2010- 2014
With 25+ years of professional experience and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ- NYC-DC. She has been treating clients, training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for many years. Wendy was on the faculty of the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York (until the Institutes merged in 2012), where she trained and worked with Dr. Jeffrey Young since 1989. She is a founding fellow and consulting supervisor for The Academy of Cognitive Therapy (Aaron T. Beck’s Institute). Wendy served as the President of the Executive Board of the International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST) from 2010-2014.
Wendy Behary has co-authored several chapters and articles on Schema Therapy and Cognitive Therapy. She is the author of an international bestselling book, "Disarming the Narcissist...” (New Harbinger, 2nd edition, translated in 15 languages; 3rd edition, October 2021.) Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on schema therapy for narcissism for professional readers. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on schema therapy, narcissism, interpersonal relationships, anger, and dealing with difficult people.
Her private practice is primarily devoted to treating narcissists, partners/people dealing with them, and couples experiencing relationship problems.
- Video: Welcome Everyone! Let's Get Started... (5:49) (5:48)
- Read / Watch - Video Clip (1:44) (1:44)
- Webinar 1- Introduction to Empathy (20:31) (20:31)
- Dan Siegel - The Roots of Empathy (8:32) (8:32)
- Webinar 2: Empathy, Confrontation, and Fortifying the Therapy Relationship (23:02) (23:02)
- Lecture and Skills Building: The "Narrator Voice" (25:22) (25:22)
- Introduction to Video Demonstration (3:09)/ "Frank" clip (8:08) (11:15)
- Read / Watch/ Practice Exercises
- What is Covert Narcissism? (5:59) (5:59)
- Webinar: A Conceptual Framework of Covert Narcissism: No, that's NOT Vulnerability (28:48) (28:49)
- Read / Watch - Video Clip: The Devil Wears Prada (4:57) (8:29)
- DEMO #1: Moral Self-Righteousness and Reassurance-Seeking (13:41) (13:41)
- DEMO #2: Virtuous Victims and Super-Sufferers (17:33) (17:34)
- DEMO #3: Passive-Aggressive Covert Narcissism (11:43) (11:43)
- DEMO #4: Covert-Overt Combo / Role-Play (44:04) (44:04)
- Comments / Questions: Send to Wendy! (0:47)
- Read / Watch / Practice Exercises
- Read: I Am the Very Worst Person on Earth and Other Myths: Understanding and Reconciling With the Inner Critic by Noah Gershman
- Lecture: Identifying the Inner Critic. We all have one! (17:49) (17:49)
- Toxic Shame and the Inner Critic - Read
- Webinar/Lecture:Lecture: Empathic Confrontation to Reconcile Resentment and Regret (32:01) (32:01)
- Lecture: The Inner Critic, Chauffeur of Shame (24:36) (24:37)
- Video Clip: Alfred & Shadow - A Short Story about Self-Criticism (4:28) (4:28)
- Part 1:Evacuating versus Part 2: Converting the Inner Critic: Protecting/Preventing/Promoting or Punishing (43:15) / (44:13) (87:31)
- Role-Play: Introduction (3:21) "Dave" and the Inner Critic Mode (12:13) (15:33)
- Steve Chapman: Dances with my Inner Critic (13:09) (13:08)
- Read / Watch / Practice Exercises
- Read / Watch - Video Clip (2:19) (2:19)
- Lecture: Part 1 and Part 2: Navigating Grandiose Narcissism / Overcompensating Modes: (28:01) and (30:55) (58:58)
- Lecture and Demonstration: Shifting Leverage to the Therapy Relationship (22:04) (22:25)
- Article - Challenging The Narcissist: How to Find Pathways to Empathy
- The Approval-Seeker / Video Clip: "Bob" (9:14) (9:14)
- The Cognitive Neuroscience of Narcissism - Read
- DEMO: (19:00) Entitled, Demanding (19:00)
- DEMO: Limit-Setting / Volatility and Aggression (5:09) (5:09)
- DEMO: The Critical Side (13:17) (13:17)
- DEMO: Charmers, and Too Much Perfume! (17:13) (17:13)
- DEMO: Bringing the Brain on Board to Mitigate Shame and More... (16:41) (16:48)
- DEMO: Mode Interview with the Demanding Critic (18:17) (18:17)
- A Narcissist Interviews Wendy Behary! Video: 1:12:31 (72:31)
- Reading Resources
- Watch/Practice Exercise: Malignant Narcissism - Alec Baldwin: I am God! (1:16) (1:16)
- Webinar: Empathic Confrontation: Addressing Defiant, Denying, Dismissive, Distracted, Daydreaming and more...(20:04) (20:04)
- Lecture: Persistence, Persistence, Persistence (4:32) and (1:21) ) (5:53)
- Read/Watch Resources: Window of Tolerance and Emotional Regulation / Stonewalling (2:19) (2:17)
- DEMO: Empathic Confrontation with Numb/Spacey/Foggy Detached Mode (13:09) (13:09)
- DEMO: "The Professor" - Detached Intellectualizers (12:31) (12:31)
- DEMO: The "Drifter" when Bypassing the DP Mode (9:25) (9:25)
- DEMO: The "Tough" Protector (7:44) (7:44)
- Detached Self-Stimulating Mode - Sex Addiction, for example (13:04) (16:36)
- Watch - Video Clip: How Mind-Wandering Contributes to Unhappiness with Dan Siegel (3:39) (3:39)
- Read / Practice Exercise
- Lecture/Webinar: Empathic Confrontation with Immovable Loyalty (19:08) (19:08)
- "Heidi: Intro and Role Play (clip) / Enmeshment (2:18) and (11:09) (13:28)
- Lecture/Webinar: Differentiating Anger Modes and Adjusting Methods/Timing of Empathic Confrontation (36:21) (36:21)
- Read/Watch: "Angry Child" Role Play with Jeff Young - Emphasis on EC (30:25) (30:25)
- Intro to Craig Malkin Video (7:31) (7:31)
- Video - Interview with Dr. Craig Malkin on "Echoism" (25:15) (25:15)
- When Your Client: Wants to be Friends; Has a Crush on You; Wants to Take Care of You! (8:40) (8:40)
- Lecture: Realness / Pause / and... Oh Those "Chronically Disappointed" Modes! (9:41) (9:41)
- Pulling the Science Together... (7:05) (7:05)
- Practice Exercises
- Video: Improv - stepping back and taking in the whole story (1:10) (1:09)
- Oh! Sometimes... the fantasy of expressing raw reactions! (2:56) (4:57)
- Lecture: Therapist Improv - Introduction (20:24) (20:24)
- Therapist Improv - Scene 2 - Method Acting (22:18) (22:18)
- Read: Method Acting (so relevant to our work)
- LIVE! Q&A with Wendy on ZOOM: 12:00 PM (EDT) and 7:00 PM (EDT) - Date to be announced
- When Change Begins to Blossom... A favorite poem I share with you